I’m really not sure why it took me so long to realize this. If I really sat and thought about it I am sure that someone, at some point in time along the way has tried to tell me, but I guess it’s one of those situations where if you are not ready to truly receive the information, then regardless of what someone tells you, you just don’t get it. Well I got it!! I tend to be a little late sometimes (perhaps because I am an analyzer) or perhaps I was just standing in the way of my own truth. Either way, it is never to late to start over, so here goes.

I am beyond tired of being used by others, especially those who call themselves my friends. I can take other people that I know don’t give a shit about me attempting to use me, but for those who are close to my heart (and that is very few people) that shit just down right sucks.

When no one else was there, I was. When I listened every single time you needed someone; I didn’t just hear you, I listened. I made sacrifices within my own life to help you more times than you truly know, and yet when it is all said and done (because now it is) I end up stuck out and you just move on.

I know there is no need to continue to put myself through this pain, and I know there is no need to continue to speak on the past (because when I wake up again, this will be the past) so I have just decided to move on and leave you all behind.

I can no longer live my life for others; this statement I have made many times, but this time it is different…because this time it is true. If you think I have disappointed you lately because I finally learned how to say “No” or “I can’t help you” or “I’m busy” or I just didn’t even offer like I always did, then now you know why, and you may surely be more disappointed in the future.

But I cannot worry about you or that, for the first time in a LONG LONG time, I will worry about me. What makes me happy, what’s best for me. The biggest disappointment that matters to me right now, is not yours, it is mine. It is the disappointment I have in myself! Thank God I have a chance to turn it around!

Good Bye